Most people have an idea of what to expect when becoming a headteacher, but there are many aspects of the role that simply only experience will reveal as Geoff Barton explains.

Layered Cake

1 Vision is overstated
Everyone bangs on about having a vision for your school. When the National Professional Qualification for Headship (NPQH) was still mandatory, hours would be spent drawing diagrams, shuffling diamondshaped cards and giving each other presentations on our educational vision. Here’s the reality: no one ever loses sleep for not having a vision. We lose sleep over other stuff – like the difficult conversation we need to have with a staff member the next morning – but not about being visionless.

2 It doesn't get easier
I had assumed that ten years in, the job would be easier than when I started. In truth, I'm more neurotic now, more cautious in my decisions, and more thin-skinned about being seen as 'yesterday's man' than I ever was. Of course, there are some things I no longer worry much about – like running meetings and staff briefings – but it surprises me that after so many years that it all doesn't seem a bit easier.

3 Being head is better than being deputy
Not everyone, of course, will agree with this one, but one of the best perks of headship is being able to choose what you do and, more attractively, what you don’t. You can, in other words, quietly ignore the stuff you're not very interested in or not very good at – or give it to someone else to do.

4 Sleeplessness isn't worth stressing about
I never sleep well on a Sunday night. In fact I’m writing this in the early hours of Monday morning after around four hours sleep. That's about normal at the start of the week. It's not that there's anything tangible – any specific burgeoning issue – that keeps me awake; it's just a general sense of another week needing to be dealt with and reacted to. I used to stress about Sunday night sleeplessness. Now I see Monday night as the time to catch up and recalibrate myself.

5 People talk rubbish
I’m never convinced by those people who tell me that being a head is the best job in the world. I haven't tried all the other jobs, so how would I know?

6 The 'teacher' part of 'headteacher' matters
Again, not all will agree, but I couldn't conceive of being headteacher and not doing some teaching – if only through covering for absent colleagues. It's why we came into the profession and how we reinforce our credibility with colleagues. More than that, I find the classroom a sanctuary from all the nonsense that so often swirls around outside.

7 People overstate the amount of paperwork
When my PA and I sit down each day to open the post, I fling most of it into the bin. If there's a letter, for example, addressed 'To the headteacher' rather than with my name personally on it, then it’s unlikely to be opened. I see my job as keeping as much junk away from colleagues as possible. That may mean I occasionally throw away stuff that I shouldn't. But I figure if it's important then the sender will re-send it.

8 Routines help
You learn that certain routines and approaches help. With a ranting parent, for example, I just let them rant. If they've insisted on seeing me in person, I'll reach for my notebook and ask them to tell me what the problem is. I’ll then switch on autopilot, make the occasional note, and allow them to let rip. It's not worth interrupting or trying to soothe. Just let their spleen be vented. Sometimes, if they're on a particularly long roll, I’ll be writing down notes about other things I have to do that day. More often than not the act of ranting will prove cathartic and a solution to the problem can then be navigated.

9 Schools should be funny
Young people have their futures ahead of them. We should feed their optimism. Funny stuff – dressing-up days, staff making fools of themselves, Quidditch tournaments, and a weekly whole-school quiz: these are the things that our youngsters will remember.

10 We all have a sell-by date
I hope I’ll get bored of my school and leave before my school gets bored of me and feels I’ve outstayed my welcome. When I no longer feel the need to be on the back gate at the start and end of the day, I suspect the time might have come.

• Geoff Barton is head of King Edward VI School in Suffolk

Want the last word?

Last Word always welcomes contributions from members. If you'd like to share your humorous observations of school life, email Sara Gadzik at leader@ascl.org.uk ASCL offers a modest honorarium.

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