The lack of discipline, general sense of ennui, the dreadful weather... and the fact that the weekend still seems an age away. Tell me why I don't like Thursdays, asks Carl Smith.

#TGIF

I went to the doctor the other day. He diagnosed eighties syndrome and asked me if I knew the cure.

As a matter of fact, I did. They were a band that had a hit called ‘Friday I’m in Love’, which makes its somewhat predictable point by dashing off the other dismal days of the week before admitting to a sudden convenient rush of oxytocin just as the weekend arrives.

Thursday, on the other hand, gets very short shrift and, according to the song, it ‘doesn’t even start’, which may be a relief if you have that difficult Year 9 group period 1 but is rather disconcerting for the rest of us. Nevertheless, as I sit here on Thursday morning, I can see what they’re saying; as days of the week in schools go, it’s often not a classic.

Have you noticed how even the weather in school seems worse on a Thursday, particularly during the afternoon? I’m not sure that the weather in school really is any different to the weather out of school, but it certainly feels that way.

Herein lies the error of millions of teachers as they look at their new timetable in September and ask that essential question, “What do I have on a Friday afternoon?” It turns out that Friday afternoons are generally OK, as that feeling of being let out of jail imminently descends on the class, but Thursday afternoons are a different matter. Be afraid of Thursdays – be very afraid.

So, you want evidence, do you? Well look at your behaviour stats for Thursdays. A general lack of goodwill may be evident, especially at lunchtime when a delightful combination of tiredness and despondency injects a certain frizzante into the teacher–pupil relationship.

I bet if your isolation room carpet could talk (although, presumably, it wouldn’t be allowed to), it would tell you it gets most of its wear and tear on a Thursday afternoon. The same will go for your absence stats. Few of us wake up on a Thursday morning after being ill and think, what a great day to go back to work, which presumably is why so few of us actually do.

Now, they’ll never tell you this on your PGCE. It’s not part of the NPQH, and as far as I know there is no intention of including it in the Early Career Framework. Yet there it is, and if it’s not going to change any time soon, what can the self-respecting teacher or headteacher do about it?

Purgatory, yes

Well how about abandoning normal lessons altogether on Thursday afternoons? Why not go for an extra lesson in the morning and an extra-long assembly in the afternoon? Purgatory, yes, but only for year heads and the senior team.

Alternatively, make it tutor time and maybe throw in a quiz, a video and a few mentoring sessions (for the pupils not the teachers). You could even make it an exciting extra-curricular afternoon – although, on reflection, that sounds like some kind of cruel and unusual punishment, so perhaps not.

But, never fear, the cure is here. Make Thursday the new Friday and then it never does start, at least in its current form. All we do is go for a four-day week and turn our vitriol on the humble Wednesday instead.

Carl Smith is Principal of Casterton College, Rutland.

Have you noticed how even the weather in school seems worse on a Thursday, particularly during the afternoon? I’m not sure that the weather in school really is any different to the weather out of school, but it certainly feels that way.

Want the last word?

Last Word always welcomes contributions from members. If you’d like to share your humorous observations of school life, email Permjit Mann at leader@ascl.org.uk ASCL offers a modest honorarium.

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